2025-04-14 Journal Entry

Yesterday I had this crazy idea to do NaNoWriMo on my own time. I think I’m going to start that today. It’ll be a cool little exercise in really trying to Finish Something, especially a big long audacious project like that, plus just getting a lot of output and really learning how to write. The world feels bright and open and like I can do it all, but that’s mostly because I’m sitting here listening to the new Bon Iver album, which makes me happy. “Short Story” is a banger.

I think the novel that I’ll start working on is mostly planned on being around Pete, since he’s the first character that I really felt like I latched on to. Something about pleasure and distraction and agency feels really important. I think it would be interesting to take it on a Firewatch-esque arc. I origianlly had the first few scenes revolving around his experience of euphoria, then flashing forward to him in his dilapidated home as it catches on fire. In the fire, the only thing he can take is a shoebox with his wife’s ashes and some photo books. In the photo books he finds a map or letter or something, which sends him out on a quest. But that quest ultimately proves to be a side quest, a series of increasingly far-flung distractions before he realizes he needs to return home. Since he needs to come back, I think it may be better to just totally crib the wife-with-terminal-disease arc from Firewatch, since he needs to return to care for her. And then the distractions are all actually hallucinations, things he misunderstands from the mundane as acts of the divine. What sends him off on his adventure is a scrap from a book or a piece of junk mail. Oh, thought: the fire scene (and by extension, the euphoria scene) happen while Delilah is in the hospital, and the fire is th impetus for Delilah’s parents to take her home and not leave her with Henry.

So then there’s the open question of what sends Henry off to go wander.

To recap realy quick: primary plot is for Henry to follow whatever mysterious map he hallucinates during his trip, since he believes that will save his wife. The B plot is him chasing down some mysterious euphoric feeling, that feeling that feels like it’s going to be ripped from his chest. Both of these are very vague and could use some refinement. Part of the fun of NaNoWriMo is just writing into the dark though, so that’s okay. I have enough here to start.

I’m gonna just brain dump for a little while about other things going on in life at the moment. I feel excited to have this thing to work on, that all feels good and noble and worth spending my time on. Plus there may not be many other times in my life where I get to sit and focus on a subject like this for hours at a time.

I keep getting distracted because I know I should be writing but I haven’t finished my prerequisite Morning Pages, plus I want to start writing when I get to the library, which doesn’t open for another hour and a half. I’m probably gonna finish this up real quick and then walk around the botanical gardens (I hope they’re open?) before I head to the library later. We’re almost done here anyways, and my noting that we’re almost done increases the word count and gets us even closer to being done.

What else is going on in life? Honestly not all that much, just kinda vibing. I feel like I should start planning the Next Thing in life, but in a way the Next Thing is the Current Thing, which is writing. Where will I travel to next? I don’t know. Probably France/Spain for the Camino. I think that’s the most likely next thing to do. Anapurna Base Camp would also probably be quite cool, but I think I’d need to train to do that. But Nepal seems cool as hell and I’d love to visit. I have some retreats planned in July but I’m considering axing them – to expensive honestly. I don’t understand why retreat centers are so fucking expensive in the US, but I imagine it’s just because the US is expensive in general, whereas in like Malaysia the cost of food and simple accomodation is quite cheap. Plus the standards here are probably much higher and require more investment into like Wifi and air conditioning, which I bet more traditional centers probably don’t have. Anyways, I’m off to walk. Peace.