2024-12-29 Journal Entry

I’m getting more serious about the prospect of being in a relationship (finally!) again, and I got thinking about what my “type” is or what characteristics I’m really looking for. Tanya asked me about my type, and I really honed in on some surface-level characteristics at that point, but I think there’s more room to really dive into the emotional side there as well.

I think one thing I value a lot is emotional maturity and flexibility. They should be able to articulate their needs, and I should do my best to support them, but that also means that they need to have enough maturity to be able to differentiate between what’s a shared responsibility and what’s strictly their responsibility. I can always root them on, but I can’t always do emotional work for them. And this goes both ways.

That sort of maturity is good for a lot of things – we can surely help each other grow, but at some level a good relationship is really about supporting and amplifying each other. The two of us combined should be unstoppable.

But also, it’s worth being clear about what I bring to the table. My life, for better or worse, is a bit all over the place right now, and my personal narrative may not be super obvious to outsiders. But I think I should circle back to that at a later time.

So emotional maturity. And someone who really wants to be in a relationship, who gets excited about investing in a partner and will appreciate the other person doing the same. Investing together does indeed involve some shared overlap and responsibility; it’s not a one-woman show. I see a lot of girls who just want to be a passenger princess, which is fine literally but isn’t as fine emotionally. (But also ideally this person would know/learn how to drive, lol.)

The other person doesn’t need to be a Nobel Prize winner or anything, but I do think a certain level of intelligence and taste is nice. Taste is good, but also openness to alternatives is important. Can appreciate a Michelin star meal and fast food with excitement and appreciation. I also don’t really care what your taste is about specifically – you don’t have to be a foodie, an interior designer, or a fashionista – but having put thought into something is great. I want someone who’s capable of sitting and thinking intensely about a problem or appreciating a work of art. Intentionality, in other words.