2023-09-13 Journal Entry

🍃 Season: 🌞 Summer 🔆 Weekday: Wednesday 🗓 Date: September 13, 2023 📅 Week: Sep 11 – Sep 17, 2023

I took an edible and I’m just chilling here writing and drinking a beer. These words are everything. When you drill down into some cavernous depth, when you fall knee-first into the trouble-trove, there’s something glden there. It’s empty, in the caves, but I promnise you the space is golden. It’s all we need in there, beautiful effervescent space, awarenessitself touching itself. We’re desire, and love, andthe music above us. The world flat, serious, playing, fiery, a mothball in the river, I don’t know what that really means, but so it goes. I’m sitting here legitimately with my eyes closed just writing the words that come into my mind. Pccsionally I open my eyes and see the screen and I lose my focus for a second every time. the wold being born to me there.

Oh shit “Sacrifices” is coming up now. The ability of weed to make you focus really intently on a single thing is amazing. I feel like it removes part of the judgemental part of my brain for a moment. If I look really closely, I can see it there, but my fingers against the keyboard are the front-most thing in my mind, with a little space left for this music, so there’s instead no other thoughts going on in my mind. I can really get a grip on each and every sensation. If this didn’t wear off and eventually lead to some loss of mental capacity, it’d be one hell of a drug. But once you have any tolerance, it becomes surprisingly boring, it loses any and all of special fuzziness at the edge of your sensations. I feel like I want to take a mental snapshot and come back to over and over again. Maybe that’s just what the jhanas are, finding and giving space to that golden lining on all sensations if you want them to be there.