2023-05-27 Journal Entry

🍃 Season: 🌷 Spring 🔆 Weekday: Saturday 🗓 Date: May 27, 2023 📅 Week: May 22 – May 28, 2023

Good morning, world. Not really sure what I’m going to write about at this point, cause I wrote a journal last night and all I’ve done since then is my protocol stuff. I’m interested to see how it goes — I’m ready to toss off the idea that I need to suffer in order to be great.

A few weeks ago I had this intense interest in occultism and esoteric religious movements. I bought all these books on Hermeticism and Theosophy and Chaos Magic and Tarot, and so far the only one I’ve even kept is the book on tarot. What’s funny is that I don’t actually disagree with what most of these books are saying — thought forms are a thing, half of chaos magic is just meditation, and the world is vibrations as the Hermetics said. I think my main takeaway from all of that is that the idea of all religions being different facets of the same diamond is probably basically correct. The cosmologies may be different, but prayer is meditation, god is oneness, and so on. Let’s not sit around and squabble over the details, let’s get aligned on that. Let’s all partake in the thusness or divine spirit or whatever. I don’t want to squabble over how other people are living life, I want to live my life in alignment and explosive joy.

My intention for the day was to embody energy. I’m sick of being tired all the time, and I’m convinced that while I’m certainly not the healthiest individual in the world (as the fridge full of Red Bull and Jimmy Dean’s breakfast sandwiches can attest), I should have more energy than I do now, and my psychological state is partially the cause of that.

I’ve been watching Sonny Boy and it’s just tickling all the parts of my brain. I keep coming back to this image from the show: the bright blue sky, perfect sandy beach, a single fluffy cloud, and a gigantic, pitch-black box-turned-interdimensional-spacecraft half-submerged in the sand. There’s infinite people in there, infinite years of middle school students turned into any number of things based on some trifling principal/god that is doing whatever they please. At this point, there’s only 3 episodes left and I have no idea what the real plot is now, but I’m entranced anyways. It’s one of those shows that makes me say I want to make this, that it’s something that speaks so specifically to my interiority in a way I barely understand.

On that note — I just had a thought about why I like them, and about something that the show touches on early on. When I say “these shows,” my brain specifically goes to Sonny Boy, The Tatami Galaxy, and some movies like Mind Game. They’re movies and shows that center on the infinite potential of our lives, that in all the universes that could exist, our current reality does exist and exists for a reason. In The Tatami Galaxy, it’s that the main character has a goal in the world and that it’s not until the end, not until his realization that his journey across the infinite universes of his life, that he circles back into his own world once again. In Sonny Boy, it’s a bit of the same thing. There’s a scene where