2023-02-13 Journal Entry

🍃 Season: ❄️ Winter 🔆 Weekday: Monday 🗓 Date: February 13, 2023 📅 Week: Feb 13 – Feb 19, 2023

Hi. Hello. Good morning.

So how did yesterday go? Good, I’d say. In a way, what I’d hoped for. That is to say, Nhyta seemed largely disinterested and we really had basically no chemistry anymore, which felt right to me. I don’t know if she just actively didn’t really want to talk or if we just had grown apart in ways that we didn’t really click anymore, but either way is fine by me. And I say that honestly — I kinda feel a little more space to let that relationship totally go now. Before, I could continue to imagine a world in which we stayed together, a world where we had fucked up as kids and only realized later on that we were meant to be together all along. But now I can comes to term that us separating was the right thing to do all along. We’re different now, and her way of seeing the world is just different enough from mine that I don’t feel like I really want that in my life. So I can put that whole thing to bed, good night sleep tight.

So where are we at otherwise? I slept a bit weirdly last night. My dreams felt vivid but abstract, like I was on LSD or something. (Not that I really know what that’s like, but you get the idea.)